My name is Lindsy, and for those who don’t know me, let me give you a quick version of who I am. I am the gal who spends the majority of my time with Lane. Caring for him, helping him, supporting him. I’ve been around him since almost the beginning of his story (minus being halfway around the world). I have a different perspective to Lanes journey that I would like to share with you…

For months now, I have expressed my thoughts on Lane’s blogs and how infrequently he posts.  Life is hectic crazy busy.  So why not have the people who are close to him, the people who live day in and out interactions with him write a post?  I put my foot in my mouth on this one.  He decided I should write the first post from an outside perspective.  If you follow Lane’s posts, you know how well written they are, and to be quite honest, I am a better talker than I am a writer.  So bear with me as I attempt my first ever blog post. 

Last August was when Lane moved in with me, and I knew topically what would take place and how non-stop life would be, but I never in a million years imagined it would be what it is today.  First off, I would like to say I have never lived with someone who I couldn’t wait for them to move out as quickly as they moved in.  This is not the case with Lane.  I could not be more happy and content to have him around.  This house feels much more like a well lived in and loved home knowing there is someone I actually enjoy coming home to.  We definitely have our moments, and I by no means am perfect and am very much human.  This for me, has been the biggest learning lesson in more than one way.  I am learning who I am as a woman, in relationship with a man that is paralyzed, as a friend, and as a caretaker (which by the way, I do not like that “role name”).  I sometimes wonder how Lane puts up with all my craziness, but he does a great job at it.

Enough about me, more about him (this blog is his right?).  I forewarn you this post might be a little longer than normal since it has been awhile since the last update.  I want to focus more on the non-physical aspect of who Lane is these days first.

There is another side in which is helping Lane grow.  It can be labeled as Eastern medicine.  Before Lane’s accident, he was a Western medicine kind of person, needing things to be tangible.  Since his accident, he has really opened himself up to a belief that there is more out there that is not always visible to the eye.  His theory is “If it doesn’t hurt, then why not try it”.  Over the past year and a half, he has tried and currently treats with the following:  Acupuncture, Chiropractic, Acupressure, meeting with an Herbalist, and Reiki.  The changes are not always right away, but overall I can see how each one of these areas has helped him claim bits and pieces of his body back.  More importantly, his mind.

As you might imagine or know, this road Lane is on, is not an easy one.  It can get a person down and can easily make one defeated.  There are definite moments in time where life just plain sucks, but Lane never lets it last long before moving to the next task at hand.   Lane meets with a Life Coach, John, who is helping with the mental aspect of life.  This teaching is helping Lane focus his mind in the present, not the past and not the future.  It is also helping him learn how to “stop and smell the roses”.  John has challenged Lane to focus in on the positives in life.  An easy way to do this is by keeping a gratitude journal.  Part of the way I can remain supportive of this, is to participate in daily gratitude and to also keep a journal with him.  We record three gratitudes or thanksgivings of the day.  As each day goes on, it becomes easier to find the positives throughout the day.   

I know from being in the inner workings with Lane, that life can be hard since he is not able to do the things he used to.  He can’t go to concerts or sporting events and be heard, there is no job to talk about, friends continue to get married and have babies (I for sure know the feeling on that one!).  It comes down to watching sports or going to a movie, both which he enjoys, but truly misses being able to get up and go somewhere.  Lane and I have twice gone to an ADA friendly walking trail in Nevada City, and let me tell you, it was nice to get out and be away from what has become “the norm”.  Truly, no matter what the social event is, you know Lane will always be there and love to attend, but sometimes it is nice to be outside the box of what daily life brings.  If you ever want to change it up, we have a great book “A Wheelchair Rider’s Guide” of all the ADA friendly trails in the SF Bay and nearby coast.

Last weekend we made it out to BORP (Bay Area Outreach and Recreational Program).  This is a non-profit organization that provides and promotes adaptive sports to people with disabilities.  It is located in Berkeley’s Aquatic Park.  When you walk up, you see a garage filled of a couple dozen bikes, followed by a larger garage filled with at least 100 different bikes from recumbents, to hand cycles and even tandems.  Greg, who oversees the program, set Lane up with a rigged bicycle just for him.  After making some minor adjustments, he was off!

To touch lightly on the physical aspect of Lane’s recovery, he truly is a rockstar.  He has added pool therapy and pilates to his weekly regime.  Between these two, I am able to see a big difference in his core strength.  Pool therapy allows him to be weightless and ables him to have different types of movement that he cannot do in the gym.  His therapist Kristen is very knowledgable and allows me to get in the pool so I can learn what to do if we wanted to take what little spare time there is and jump on in.  He travels weekly to Lafayette and works with Stephanie at Absolute Center.  She is truly amazing at what she does and has endless patience.  She introduced us to a local gentleman in Sacramento, James.  His approach is a little different as he adds myofascial release techniques to his routine with Lane.  All of these people really help him to relearn how to keep his posture, how to perfect movements even though he cannot always feel what he is doing.  Over the past few weeks I have seen tremendous improvements.

Overall, Lane continues to persevere and defy the odds.  Everyday he grows more, whether it be physically, spiritually, or emotionally.  I can see how it is easy for my fingers to keep typing and typing.  But this must come to an end.  I hope you enjoyed my first post and update.  There is much more in my head, but I will save that for another time and place.